Responsibility
by evieeden
Summary: Bella didn't mean to, but sometimes she did wish that her mommy was the same as all the other mothers. Advent story written for 18th December.


**Happy 18****th**** December everyone. I hope you enjoyed the last three happy advent stories. Unfortunately, we're now back to the angst again, and this time, I'm afraid I have to put a warning on this story as it does deal with issues of child neglect. For that reason, I won't hope that you enjoy reading it, but I'll hope that you like what I've attempted to accomplish with it.**

**Anyway, massive thanks once again to the incomparable idealskeptic who has beta'd this for me. As per usual, I don't own Twilight.**

**Responsibility**

The first time Bella realised her mommy wasn't like all the other mommies was when she went to school for the first time.

Mrs Hodge, her elderly neighbour, had dropped her off while Renée went to glass-blowing seminar, and then had given her a dollar for being a good girl. When it came to lunch time, all the other boys and girls in her class had rushed to their cubby holes and picked up their lunch boxes, crammed with sandwiches and crackers and chips.

Bella's teacher had noticed the young girl sitting quietly by her desk and viewed her empty desk with a disapproving glare.

"Bella, honey, do you not have your lunch with you today? Did your mommy forget to pack it for you?"

Bella had blinked up at her teacher. She hadn't known that mommies were supposed to make lunches before school, and now everyone was looking at her curiously. She had blushed before muttering that she must have forgotten it, but she had been given some money to buy food with.

Her dollar hadn't gone very far in the cafeteria. She had purchased an apple, a pack of crackers and a carton of juice, not realising that the staff had taken pity on her and undercharged her for the food.

When she had got home that evening, she had asked her mother about the packed lunch.

Renée had groaned, slapping her palm against her forehead.

"Crap! I knew there was something I forgot. Never mind, honey, I'll sort your lunch out tomorrow."

Only Renée had forgotten again the next day, and this time Bella had no money to buy anything with. She had sat in the staff room during lunch, being fed offerings from the other teachers while they muttered above her head about having to talk to her mother about this.

Bella had felt sick, cramming the offered food into her mouth despite her twisting tummy. From the way the teachers had spoken, it sounded like Renée was in trouble. She didn't want her mommy to get in trouble for not remembering to make her lunch. She knew that her mom was very busy and loved Bella very much even though she didn't know how to make sandwiches.

The next morning, Bella had gotten up early while her mother was still sleeping. Climbing onto the kitchen counters, she had searched the cupboards until she had found a plastic box that looked like the ones that the other kids had. It was less colourful, but she had some stickers up in her room that she could decorate it with.

Slowly and carefully, Bella had rooted around the kitchen until she had found a bag of chips, some juice cartons and a couple of pieces of fruit. Trying to remember how she'd seen Mrs Hodge make sandwiches before, Bella had piled up some salad and a leftover piece of chicken between two slices of bread. She forgot to add spread to her makeshift sandwich, but looking at it on the counter, she felt inordinately proud of her achievement. Wrapping the towering sandwich up in some foil, she had placed all the food in her lunch box and gone to decorate it.

That lunch time, when she had pulled her lunch box out of her cubby hole, she had beamed at her teacher. Now they couldn't tell Renée off. She hated being told off, it made her cry, and she didn't want her mommy to cry.

The next day and the day after, Bella made her own lunch again, until gradually she began to realise that he mother wasn't able to make lunch for her, like the other mommies did for her school friends, but that was okay, because Bella could do it all by herself anyway.

The second time that Bella realised that her mommy didn't act like all the other mommies was when the power got cut off after Renée forgot to pay the bill.

Her mother was out at her salsa class that evening and with Mrs Hodge now moved away to a care home, Renée had decided that Bella was a big girl now and therefore capable of looking after herself for a few hours.

Bella had been lying on her stomach on the living room floor, avidly reading some of the books that her dad, Charlie, had sent to her by mail.

The last time she had visited him in Forks, he had taken her to the local library and Bella had immediately been entranced. There were so many stories all in one place, some with pictures, others with just words. She could've spent hours in that building and she struggled not to cry when Charlie said that they had to leave. Her father had remembered how much she had enjoyed the experience though and ever since then, she had received a bundle of books from him every month.

Her reading of Peter Pan was abruptly cut short, though, by the lights flickering. She had peered up at the light bulbs, only for them to go dark seconds later.

Whimpering, Bella had sat up slowly. She hated the dark. One of Renée's old boyfriends had once told her that if she misbehaved, she would be eaten by the monsters that lived under the beds and in the wardrobes. Renée had later sat down and told Bella that there was no such thing as monsters, but there was still a tiny voice in the back of Bella's head that warned her to be extra careful whenever the night drew in.

Creeping over to the window, she had peered around the curtains to see if there was a power cut and the whole street had gone dark. There wasn't. All the other houses were brightly lit up. All except hers.

Bella had tried the light switch several times before realising that it wasn't going to come back on. Luckily, the power had cut out during an electrical storm a couple of years ago, and Renée had bought a number of flashlights which were scattered around the house.

Trying to find her way through the dark to the kitchen left Bella with two bruised legs and a table corner to her ribs. Eventually though, she had located a torch and spent the rest of the night huddled under her covers, lit torch in hand, trying to drive her fear away with tales of pirates, mermaids and a boy who wouldn't grow up.

Even at her young age, the similarities between the character Peter and her mother struck her. She would be more like Wendy, she decided. She took care of her mom as best as she could.

Renée had returned early the next morning, cursing loudly when she found the power not working. The next day, however, she spent lying on the couch, an arm flung over her face, groaning about her headache.

Unwilling to move, Renée had directed Bella towards where the bills were stacked on the table in the hall and tossed her daughter her wallet, instructing her how to pay off the bill.

After that, Bella learned to recognise which letters were the bills that needed to be paid and so once a month, she would take her mother's credit card or chequebook from her handbag and pay for the utilities. Renée never told her not to, and this way, everything was paid on time and they got to keep their water on.

By now, Bella had realised that her mom wasn't able to behave like the other moms did and she gradually took over the running of the household as best as she was able. Of course, there were times when she had to encourage Renée to do things that she couldn't – getting a plumber in to fix the leaking sink, for example – but for the most part, it was just easier for her to sort out the cleaning, the laundry, the cooking and the bills by herself, while her mother threw herself into hobby after hobby.

Things came to a head, however, when Renée got herself another new boyfriend. Sean was nice enough, but he didn't really like children and Bella just got in the way of him and his girlfriend's alone time. So after about a month of failed nights in alone at home, he had taken Renée off for a week away at a luxury resort.

Bella stayed home alone, more than capable of getting herself to school in the morning and looking after herself.

Or, at least she was, until she tripped and fell down the stairs one morning and bashed her leg against the wall, feeling the ominous crack before she heard it.

Pain shot up her leg and she gritted her teeth, trying to hold back the scream that rose in her throat. Crying out was pointless. She was alone and the house was detached from her neighbours'. Panic welled in her body as she realised that there was no-one to help her. Her mom wasn't due back for another four days and if she didn't show up to school, the office would start calling to see where she was.

Tears stung her eyes as her predicament struck her.

She couldn't call for help either, as she knew then there would be questions about where Renée was and from her memories of kindergarten, she knew that other grown-ups wouldn't approve of her mother's actions.

She stayed in a heap at the bottom of the stairs for hours, crying silently while she tried to work out the right thing to do. Her leg hurt so much and stars were beginning to dance in front of her eyes.

She couldn't stay here.

Gritting her teeth against the pain, she slid on her butt across the floor to where the phone was on the hall table and fumbled for the address book that her mom kept there.

Dialling the only number she could think of, she waited, eyes squeezed shut for the ringing to be answered.

"Forks Police Station. How may I direct your call?"

Barely restrained her sobs, Bella asked for Charlie Swan. She was put through to her father in record time.

"Bells? Honey? Is everything all right there? Shouldn't you be at school now?"

Her breath shuddered.

"Daddy, I fell, and it hurts."

"What?" Her father's voice was worried. "Where did you fall? Bella, where's your mom?"

She sniffed. "She's not here and I don't know what to do. I think I've hurt my leg."

"Bells." Charlie sighed heavily and she heard him begin to bark out directions to the people in the police station. He finally came back onto the line. "Where's your mom, Bells? What do you mean that she's not there? Is she at work? Do you not know the number?"

Bella bit her lip, unsure what to tell her father.

"Bella?" he prompted.

"She went away with Sean," she finally whispered.

"Sean? Who the -?" Charlie cut himself off. "Is Sean one of her boyfriends?"

"Yes," Bella confirmed quietly. "They went away."

Her father cursed and more tears streamed down Bella's cheeks. She could tell that he wasn't happy with her mom and she got that queasy feeling once more.

"I don't want to get her in trouble."

That quiet murmur cut her father's tirade off abruptly.

"Oh Bells, honey, you're not in any trouble, and if your mom is then that's her fault and not yours. She's a grown up, she knows better than to leave you alone in that house. No-one should be left home alone when they're eight. This is your mom doing the wrong thing, not you, you hear me?"

"Okay," she agreed hesitantly.

"Okay," Charlie repeated. There was talking in the background at the police station. "Okay, Bells, here's what's going to happen; I'm going to stay talking to you for a while and then someone from the police down in Phoenix is going to come and check on you. You know what to do when they knock on the door?"

"Ask who they are and make them show me their badges," she listed dutifully. Her dad always had lots of rules for keeping safe when she went to visit him and that was one of them.

"That's right," he praised her. "And they're going to have someone with them who can look at your leg and work out if you need to go to the hospital. Once they're with you, I'm going to hang up and then I'm going to come down to Phoenix and see you. Does that sound like a good plan to you?"

She sniffled, but a part of her felt warmed by her father's reassurances. "Yes, thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, Bells, you know I'm always here for you, even if I'm not living in Phoenix." Sensing that she needed cheering up while she was waiting for help, her father lightened his tone. "So have you had a chance to read any of those books I sent you this month?"

"Yes!" Happy for the distracted from her pain, Bella latched onto the change of topic. "I loved the one with the hobbits and the dragon."

She continued to chatter happily about the books she had received until the police showed up with an ambulance. Everything after that was a blur as she was given painkillers and then promptly wheeled into surgery when she reached the hospital.

Hours later, she woke up in a darkened hospital room. Her leg was still aching, but it wasn't the shooting pain of earlier. A shadow moved next to her and then a light clicked on. Her dad's tired face came into view.

"Hey, Bells. How are you feeling, baby girl? Do you need some water or anything?" He leaned forward and clasped her hand.

"I'm fine." She scratched her nose tiredly. "Thank you for helping me."

A strange look crossed her dad's face. "Of course, baby. Always."

Bella glanced around the room, knowing deep down that there was no-one else here. "Where's mom?"

Charlie swallowed heavily. "We're having a bit of trouble finding where your mom went for her vacation, so she hasn't been told about your accident yet, but once you've been discharged from the hospital, how would you like to come and stay with me for a while – have someone take care of you until we can get you back on two feet?"

Bella looked at her hands and mulled her father's offer in her head.

Her dad's offer was like a dream, but she didn't want her mom to miss her. After all, if Bella wasn't there then who would make sure the bills were paid? Who would look after the house or make sure that her mom had clean suits for work?

Despite the worry, there was also a yearning to be taken care of for a change, to not be Wendy Darling, always looking after her mother.

She didn't have to do chores when she stayed with her dad in the summer, apart from keeping her bedroom tidy. He took care of all the grown up stuff and she got to read and play down at the beach with Jacob, Rachel and Rebecca Black.

She wanted to be looked after, she realised.

"Are you sure mommy won't mind if I come and stay with you?" she asked worriedly.

Charlie smiled, relieved. "Of course she won't mind. It'll give you and me a chance to spend some time together."

"Okay," she finally decided. "I'd like that."

She held out her arms and Charlie gratefully gathered her up into the hug she clearly wanted. She was so happy that her daddy was here, so glad that he had taken care of everything.

"Thank you for coming down to Phoenix to help me," she murmured into his collar.

He shut his eyes to keep his own tears from falling.

"Always, Bells. Always."


End file.
